Bitter { M e m o r i e s }

[k a t i e ~]

The dusty indoor arena sat still and unused in the warm spring months. The dirt remained untouched by nor hoof or boot, and the arena itself seemed to have a lonely glow about it, as if it was watching the others in the outdoor areans and asking itself, "Why not use me?" Even with both large doors opened at both ends, the arena still seemed dark and lonely. The Dressage letters were faded and F had fallen due to a recent breeze. The old lights above hummed in an annoying manner, and a single bird chriped from up in the rafters, happy with it's new home. The light steps of someone's boots echoed through the empty arena, but were quickly silenced by the soft sand. Each footprint that was left behind was seemingly perfect, but the foot itself was pretty small. The maker of these footprints was sixteen year old Katie, long chocolate brown hair falling in front of her face as she stared hopelessly at her toes. The dirt of the arena seemed to be happy to have someone walking across it again, but Katie didn't seem to notice. Blue-green eyes were concealed by a mess of overgrown bangs, their beauty hidden from the public's judging eyes. Katie eased herself down on on of the chairs outside the arena and sighed quietly to herself. She liked coming here during the outside months because she was guarnteed to be alone - something she enjoyed.

Prying her gaze from the dirt floor, Katie looked at the old arena, memories slowly oozing into her mind. A dark bay horse was cantering obidiently on the lunge, strides even and nice. The Pinto's long mane kissed his neck every stride, and each time the equine snorted, a squeal of delight would come from a young Katie as she lunged "her" horse, Bubba. Sixteen year old Katie instantly recoginzed that she was doing it all wrong, but kept her thoughts concealed in her mind for only her to hear. The vision of her old horse should have brought happiness into Katie, but the only pang she felt was a pang of lonliness and sorrow. What's there to be happy about? All she'd ever known was pain and death, and there were no happy memories she was able to fish out. Maybe there are happy memories deep inside Katie's complicated journey of a life, but as of now, none exist. The vision of Bubba only set the mood of the day: grief. Colic. Horses. And, worst of all? Death. With a somber sigh, Katie tore her gaze from Bubba and herself, closing her eyes shut as thought it was a nightmare. Now, as she closed her eyes, pictures of Katie's Mother floated carelessly into her mind, and the sixteen year old couldn't help but feel her cheeks wet with tears. Her Mother's voice echoed in her ears..."No matter what, I'll always love you. It doesn't matter what you do, or where you are, or even if I'm not with you. Even if I'm not on this earth, I'll always love you." It was all like a nightmare to Katie.

Barley daring to open her eyes, Katie forced a sigh and buried her head in her hands, then slowly hugged her knees to her chest, her faded riding pants coated with the comforting smell of horse. Inhaling a deep breath of the scent as though it were a drug, Katie looked around blindly, mind fizzing with work. The sixteen year old sat absolutly still, enjoying this "Alone time." Katie loved to have time to sort out her feelings and just..well, breakdown. After all, she can't keep it cooped up all the time. We all have our breaking points; even Katie. Thoughts of dying churned to life in her mind as she felt her blood rushing through her body like it was some kind of venom. Staring hopelessly at the major vein on her wrist, Katie sighed once again, toughts moving. When was her time to die? Next week? Next year? Ten years from now? Twenty? Thirty? One thing was almost certain. The doctor said she probably wouldn't live to fifty, and if she was lucky she could make it to thirty or forty five. So, she bascially had a countdown to death. Why?

Because Katie has Lukiema.

((250 words minimum, remember!))

[Ginny / Danica]

* watch out for the pyrotechnics

Ginny wasn't used to having to walk around alone: she made a point of being surrounded by others. She thrived off of attention, always wanting to be in the spotlight. A jet-black horse dancing beside her now was the only company she would have for the next... well, long time, anyway. The gelding threw up his head, whinnying loudly, and Ginny shook his lead shank. "Don't be naughty, now, Manny," she addressed the spooky horse in a motherly tone. Even after many years of riding, the lease of this unruly gelding was the closeest she had ever come to owning one. Ginny's point today was to keep him sane under the indoor arena's sporadical light fixtures. It was dark, untouched - no one used it when it was so nice outside. From the door Ginny went through, the arena was silent and undisturbed, but on the other side there was a girl crouched over, hugging her knees. Ignoring this, Ginny stroked Manny, who was snorting uncontrollably with his head flung high, and clipped a longe line on to his bright red halter. He moved away anxiously, ear forward, but Ginny could see in his eyes that he wasn't all that confortable with the situation. Cooing to him softly, she had him walk in a circle around her, watching him out of one eye and the girl with the other. Normally, Ginny would have strode up and introduced herself in that large, obnoxious, and exeedingly loud voice of hers, but under the present circumstance, she judged that not to be the best idea.

Manny tossed his head and picked up a rolling canter during the moments while Ginny's attention was diverted. Tracking her eyes back to 'her' big black gelding, she pulled gently and added some pressure to the longe line, using her voice to slow him back down. "What was that about, boy?" She still wasn't used to his antics and spooks at everything, but he was very sweet, as was evident by the fact that he immediatly trotted towards her and shoved his muzzle into her outstretched hands with a soft nicker. Laughing, Ginny stroked his silky nose as she gathered up the extra longe line. She, carelessly and knowing that she shouldn't have done so, led him around the perimeter of the large arena (it got bigger every time she took a step!) with the line, leaving his lead rope on the ground. He broke into a nervous trot every few seconds, but Ginny was more than a match - twelve years of horse experienece rubbed off pretty quickly.

Suddenly a gust of wind blew from outside, rattling the metal beams on the roof. Manny reared - even in the dangerous situation, Ginny had to admire his beauty - and galloped a few strides away, knocking Ginny to the ground in the process and making her drop the longe line. D*mnit. Today was not the day to wear shorts to the barn. Brushing the dirt off the soccer shorts and red t-shirt, and out of her dark brown hair, she pushed herself up and chased after Manny, who, Ginny observed, was whinnying profusely at the girl on the ground.

[k a t i e ~]

As soon as Manny danced into the large arena, Katie knew something was bound to happen with that spookmonster of a horse. Even now, he was dancing anxiously, and thankfully, his owner appeared to be expirenced and gave the lead shank a quick pop, which stopped his dancing. Though Katie didn't enjoy the company, she put all her senses on alert in case of an emergency or if he spooked. Blue-green eyes followed the girl and Manny closly, with utter focus. Though listless, her eyes were skilled and traced Manny's every movement. From his anxious bursts of speed to his head tossing, Katie could tell that he was tense and nervous because he didn't know this girl, and Katie didn't know her, either. Katie worked with Manny all last summer, and the pair had really bonded. Manny, temporarily lost some of his spookiness. She had won two blue ribbons and one red on the tall Thoroughbred mix, so he was a good horse...he just needed some work.

As Manny spooked and plunged himself into the air, Katie was on her feet, jogging towards the girl and the runaway black gelding. Chocolate brown hair billowing behind her, Katie forced herself to speak. " Don't chase him! That only gets him more anxious...he'll just keep running. Stop and wait for him, he'll come back to you." She huffed, slowing in the center of the circle they had made. Blue-green eyes fell on the girl, who was still chasing after Manny. However, Katie did not object, only observed, like always. With a sober sigh, Katie silently watched the pair...they seemed to be a perfect match. The sixteen year old couldn't help but wonder why the girl had worn soccer shorts to a barn...eyes still following the pair, Katie pressed her fingers to her temple, a sharp pang of depression overtaking her as memories of Bubba wandered into her mind. When she had to catch Bubba for the first time, he had galloped away from her, just like Manny. Katie could almost see the dark bay spots forming on the body of the giant black gelding.

[Melanie]

...what I would give for peace..

A tall, athletic figure walked hesitantly up the concrete road that led up to the barn that her leased horse would be in. A wall of long black hair hid her shy face, but if one looked at her hieght; they would have thought her to be a stronger girl. But in truth, Melanie was afraid of about everything that had a fierce look, with the exception of horses. They would never be the cause of her problems, but her solution.

Melanie Colliser stepped inside the barn. She was the newest groom and would be expected to come on her first day and do a good job as well. Her light green eyes took in the dusty stable; a small smile sneaking across her lips. She was already starting to relax as she breathed deeply into the smells of hay, leader, oil, and horse sweat. She took another few steps and peered into the first stall. A tall, bay gelding who looked like a Thoroughbred snorted back at her. He came forward eagerly and whuffled at her through the bars.

"Alligator Crockpot" said the golden sign. Oh, this is him! She grinned at the goofy looking horse who gave her a pleading look. He wanted carrots. Melanie let out a glowing laugh that sounded like a mockingbird's trill but quite soft, as she didn't want to startle the horse. Gator snorted and eyed her as she picked up the box of grooming brushes and slowly entered his stall, moving carefully as to not spook him.

"Hey boy, what's up with you?" She crooned. His gangly conformation and silly antics reminded her of the school horses in her old stable. He tilted his ears forward and tossed his head. Gator, then, inspected every inch of her tall body, sniffing ever part her could reach without taking a step. When the bay was finished, he rubbed his nose on her chest and nickered softly. She was accepted.


About ten minutes later, Melanie was leading Gator out of the barn. She couldn't resist a first ride on the Thoroughbred. The Spanish girl hadn't ridden in two years and she was eager to sit in a saddle once again. Her tall frame walked straight and proud; she would finally rest in a saddle again! But her confidence vanished the moment she saw the two other people. Cringing from the idea of having to talk to two complete strangers, Melanie quickly pulled Gator to the side and began to fiddle with the reins, not really sure of what to do.

[Ginny / Danica]

* live the impossible

Manny kept running away from her, of course. Ginny knew she probably shouldn't chase him, but she had always been a fast runner and she wass already making a habit of being careless today, so what would one more thing do? She was no match for a Throgouhbred, though. Ginny saw out of the corner of her eye the girl on the other end of the arena get up and jog towards her. "Don't chase him! That only gets him more anxious...he'll just keep running. Stop and wait for him, he'll come back to you." Ginny's eyes snapped away from the gelding for a moment. She could feel the girl watching her. She ignored it. And, in all normal circumstances, Ginny would have ignored the advice, but Manny seemed to know her. What could it hurt?

Well, her pride, maybe.

Ginny turned around, her hands on her knees, panting for a moment.

[k a t i e ~]

((I suppose I could attempt this wonderful art you people call posting...even though my muse is a little low. Oh, Gindan: 250 words minimum! I will make expections, but yours was just a tad under the expection level at 158.))

As the indoor arena filled with what seemed like more and more horses, Katie couldn't help but wonder why they were all using this arena when it was a beautiful day outside. The humming of the lights, walls of dust, swooping birds and aching frame didn't make it the ideal place to practice, especially with spooky horses. Then again, the girl in the soccer shorts had come here to lunge Manny, not ride him. Katie wasn't angered - just curious as to why they chose here. Her well-trained eyes remained locked on Manny, she watched his every movement. The girl continued to chase after him like a cat trying to chase an oversized mouse. The mouse is always faster and sharper, therefore the mouse will always outrun the cat. At least, that's the way Katie thought of it.

Nothing was really going through her mind - until the great big bay gelding by the name of Crockpot Alligator sauntered into the arena. Instantly, Katie lost interest in Manny and walked over to Gator, knowing he would spook at the sight of Manny. That was his "button", what set him off. At the time, Katie really had no emotions going through her. This situation had the potential to become dangerous, and now was no time for pain, sorrow, or grief. The sixteen year old was souly focused on no living creature, horse or human, getting injured or damaged. Chocolate brown hair spilling in front of her face, she approached Gator with a quiet confidence the books always speak of and began to rub him down in a hard, circular motion, to relax him. Katie was confident both horses would spook even further, and now she had to spooky horses to watch. Her eyes fell on the girl holding Gator, who seemed to be unaware that he spooked or got anxious around horses. Better tell her now before it's too late. Katie swallowed painfully and forced herself to speak.

"Gator spooks around other horses; watch him."

Her tones were serious, soft, and low. She meant bussiness, and she wasn't lying.[/size]

[Melanie]

....it's not over yet....

Melanie instantly went into what her cousin had called, opposital reflex. Her cousin had liked to make up words to fit her liking. A little ripple went through her body as she swung around to face Katie. Even though she recognized the unhappy fear in the other girl's eyes, Melanie flinched away from her. The green eyes widened into perfectly round opals of hazel and her face started to pale.

Gator tossed his head as he snorted rather fiercely at the other horse. Melanie's nerves, combined with this other horse were starting to draw on his patience. Gator bared his teeth and struck the ground. Melanie's mind was going into over-drive. I have to get Gator away, NOW! Melanie was both hyper-ventilating and oblivous to everything but her fear and Gator. Melanie turned and in the sharpest voice that would come out of the trembling mouth she ordered, trying her best to sound like a leader who knew what she was talking about,

"No, Gator! Turn away from the other horse." She rose the intensity in her voice, struggling to find some hint of leadership. In her predicament with the horse, her fear began to fade. Moving slowly, her heart beating like rain on concrete, she moved around him so that she blocked the other horse from Gator's view. Then she tried something that had worked once, and looked rather stupid, but she was willing to try again. Melanie pushed at Gator's shoulder with her own and clucked. Once he began to moving, she let go of the reins until one hand barely rested upon the leather. Melanie guided him like a horse would, using her body.

OOC: Sorry, short post.. I kinda lost my muse..

[Ginny / Danica]

oh, sorry about that! i had more, buut my computer went insane and it dissappeared.

post coming up soon.